Defiant Dawn

 Defiant Dawn: Is my current status after a battle with death. This painting best describes my outlook with a big middle finger at darkness while the sun comes up.

I woke up this morning with my mind in a fog, yet I couldn’t help but feel the weight—and the wonder—of having made it another year. At 47, by the grace of God, I’m still here, and though the doctors say I have five years at best, I throw a big middle finger at that prediction. “Hell no,” I say, because here I am at eleven years into the journey and still standing.

For me, life’s journey has never been a gentle stroll. In 2015, the ground below seemed to crumble, heralding a different kind of battle. Just two years later, in July 2017, I received the verdict I never truly wanted: I was dying. For many, that might have been a full stop—a moment to fall apart. But my story isn’t written in defeat. It’s a declaration of defiance, a pact with life to fight every moment fiercely.

This year brought challenges that hit much closer to home than ever before. For over two weeks I’ve struggled with breathing issues. Despite sensing that something was seriously wrong, I felt trapped between hope and despair. One Friday night, as the blockage in my nasal passage worsened, I made the gut-wrenching decision to call for help. We called an ambulance to Newark, New Jersey—a town just a few minutes away—but were faced with a cold bureaucracy: they wouldn’t take me to Newark, only offering options at facilities that didn’t cater to people like me. In that moment between life and death, I chose home over a place where I wouldn’t be properly cared for.

Saturday morning deepened the ordeal. With every labored breath, the blockage made itself known. Faced with the reality of my condition, I reached out to a dear friend who came to my aid with the skill and compassion of someone who dared to defy death for me. After an hour of battling for each breath, I passed out. When I awakened, my friend was there—holding me, reminding me that sometimes it takes another’s courage to give you the strength to keep going.

I have brushed with death countless times over the years since my ALS diagnosis. Yet, through each near-miss, I’ve gathered the resolve to keep fighting, to live on my own terms. This isn’t just a personal battle—it’s a call to everyone reading this: plan ahead. Whether it’s a plan B, C, or D, prepare for the unexpected. In a world where even one fewer ambulance can tip the scales between life and death, never assume that tomorrow is guaranteed.

Today, I share this part of my journey because surviving the impossible feels like both a personal victory and a message for all of us. Let it be a reminder: even in the face of relentless adversity, prayer, persistence, and the strength of a good friend can wrest time back from the jaws of fate.

Every new day is a chance to defy the odds, to stand tall amid the chaos, and to let our lives speak of courage and hope. Keep planning, keep fighting, and above all, keep living—on your own fierce terms.