In the quiet moments of the early morning, before the world stirs awake, I often find myself reflecting on the journey that has become my life. As the wife and caregiver to my husband, Rocky, each day brings a new set of challenges and heartaches that test the very fabric of my being. Rocky, my best friend, my rock, and my better half, is bravely battling ALS, and the weight of this cruel disease is something I could never have imagined.
From the very beginning, Rocky has been the anchor in my life. His strength, optimism, and unwavering love have been the bedrock upon which our life together was built. But now, as ALS tightens its grip, the roles have reversed. I find myself struggling to be the pillar of strength that he once was for me.
Every day has become a different battle, a relentless storm that we must weather together. One of the most heartbreaking challenges we now face is managing Rocky's aspiration issues after he eats or drinks. What used to be simple, everyday activities have turned into moments of anxiety and fear. The act of eating, once a joyous and shared experience, now carries the constant threat of aspiration, which can lead to pneumonia or other serious complications.
I watch him closely with every bite, every sip, my heart in my throat. I see the effort it takes for him to swallow, the concentration etched on his face as he tries to avoid choking. There are times when a sudden cough or the sound of liquid going down the wrong way sends a jolt of panic through me. In those moments, I am reminded of the fragility of our situation, the ever-present danger that lurks in the most mundane of tasks.
Despite the overwhelming challenges, there are still moments of profound love and connection. Rocky's smile, though rarer now, still has the power to light up my world. His eyes, filled with gratitude and love, remind me why I will never give up. We share quiet moments of tenderness and laughter, clinging to the remnants of our old life while forging a new path together.
Being a caregiver to Rocky is the hardest thing I have ever done. It requires a strength I never knew I had and a depth of love that transcends the physical and emotional toll. There are days when I feel utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but then I look at Rocky and see the courage with which he faces each day. He is my inspiration, my reason to keep going.
I have learned to find solace in the small victories, the fleeting moments of normalcy. Each day that passes without a major incident is a win. Each shared smile, each gentle touch, is a reminder of the bond that holds us together. While ALS may be stealing my husband from me in so many ways, it cannot take away the love that defines us.
As we navigate this treacherous path, I hold on to hope and the belief that we are more than this disease. Rocky and I are a team, a partnership forged in love and strengthened by adversity. Together, we will face each day, each battle, with the same spirit that has carried us through our lives. And though the future is uncertain, I know that as long as we have each other, we have everything we need to keep going.
Rocky&Cloie💙
Beautiful. I know what you’re feeling.