Love and Loss in the Face of ALS

When you sleep, resting from what ALS is taking from you, my heart is at peace knowing that you will awake soon and still be with me. Nevertheless, the time you are not awake plunges me into a chasm of loneliness that feels almost unbearable. This home, our sanctuary, will one day become a hollow shell, echoing with the absence of your presence, and I will feel the loss in every fiber of my being.

As I watch you sleep, I find a bittersweet comfort in the gentle rise and fall of your chest. Each breath you take is a small victory, a fragile promise that we still have more moments to share. But in the stillness of the night, the relentless reality of ALS seeps into my thoughts, whispering its cruel truths. I know these moments are finite, that one day, your eyes will not open to meet mine, and the thought fills me with a profound, aching dread.

I cling to every second we spend together, savoring every conversation, every laugh, and even the quiet moments when words aren't necessary. Each fleeting instant becomes a precious memory, a lifeline I hold onto tightly, knowing it will have to sustain me when the inevitable day arrives. But as you sleep, the fear of that future loneliness becomes almost suffocating. How will I navigate life without you by my side? The thought of your absence leaves an unbearable void in my chest.

Despite this overwhelming fear, I find myself drawing strength from the present. When you're awake, I pour my soul into building memories, treasuring each moment we have. These moments, no matter how brief, become my anchors, grounding me in the love we share and the hope it brings. It’s a delicate balance, a dance between cherishing the now and dreading the future.

I know that one day, the house will be unbearably quiet, and the echoes of our life together will haunt the empty spaces. I will feel your absence in everything I do, in every room I walk through. The silence will be deafening, a constant reminder of the void you've left behind. But I also know that your spirit will always be with me, living on in my heart, in the stories I tell, in the love I continue to share with others.

In the end, it is this love that will sustain me. Even in the face of impending loss, I hold onto the belief that our bond transcends the physical. It is a connection that will endure, a light that will guide me through the darkest times. The love we have shared is too powerful to be diminished by ALS or even by death. It is an eternal flame that will continue to burn brightly, illuminating my path forward.

As I sit beside you, listening to the soft rhythm of your breath, I remind myself to be grateful for the present. ALS may take many things from us, but it cannot take away the love we have built, the memories we have created, and the deep, unbreakable connection we share. These are the treasures I will carry with me, the reminders of a life lived together, full of love and meaning.

So, I will continue to watch over you as you sleep, finding solace in the moments we still have. I will cherish each day, each hour, each fleeting second, knowing that they are all part of our beautiful, albeit bittersweet, journey. And when the time comes that you are no longer by my side, I will find a way to carry on, holding you close in my heart and letting your love be my guide. In the profound silence of your absence, I will seek comfort in the memories we've made, and in the undying bond that even ALS cannot sever.

Rocky&Cloie💙